SUMMARY:
Marcie has a secret...Behind the tough act, she\'s really going through a horrible time. She cuts herself...For her each day is a fight to keep living. It\'s like all of her little mistakes are blown into much bigger-looking ones. Jadden can see past her mask and he wants to help her...He doesn\'t want her to hurt herself anymore. But can he reach her in time? Or will he watch her die? People aren\'t always what they look like on the outside....And you never can tell who you can trust. Especially with all of the darkness hidden in our world....

Breathe
Chapter One

I looked across my principal's giant oak desk. He was busy tying, and was more or less completely oblivious to me. This is your chance to run. These words played back through my head over and over. I shouldn’t of even bothered to come...I already knew what the outcome was going to be. Especially since this was my third visit since school started, two days ago...I pursed my lips and clamped my eyelids shut. I just had to pick a fight with the one teacher, who would actually send me to the office, didn’t I?
I looked away from my principal and focused on his office. There were several filing cabinets and bookshelves cluttering the small room. There was a sort of musky smell to everything like it had sat in it’s spot since the school was built. Not to mention that everything was covered in an inch thick coat of dust. And for that reason I didn’t sit in one of the several chairs he had along the farthest wall, near the door. There were at least five really old gray chairs that had seen their day. Most of them had rips and slashes were students had began to pull out the ancient yellow stuffing. I knew I would have done the same if I had the guts to sit in one of them. Suddenly
the door slung open and my gym teacher more or less throw a boy into the room.
Mr. Jackson was a fairly well built man that was just barely taller than I was. His hair was thinning and turning an odd blackish white color. Sort of like salt and pepper. He had long lost his teeth and wore false ones that were permanently tinted yellow from cigarette smoking.
He was the only teacher that really ever scared me...
The boy straightened onto his feet and turned to face Mr. Jackson. He was much taller than he was, but not as wide. His hair was a deep raven black and was styled to where half of his face was nearly covered completely by a bang. I grinned as I noticed what he was wearing, gray skinny jeans and a long sleeve black shirt. Not to mention the fact that he wore a studded belt and awesome steel toed boots. An Emo.
He rolled his eyes at the teacher and stepped away from him.
My Principal Mr. Jameson finally looked up. His glasses rested on his nose reminding me distinctively of my grandma. I almost laughed. Now if he only had gray curly hair...
“Mr. Adams! This is your fourth visit is TWO DAYS! ARE YOU TRYING TO BE EXPELLED?”
The boy grinned.
“If I said yes...”
Mr. Jameson slammed his fists down on the table and stood up. I actually began to fear for the now brittle looking desk below him.
“Ah. Ms. Thomas I hadn’t noticed you. Let me guess...Gum?”
I smiled.
“Yeah but I wasn’t caught.”
I opened my mouth to show him the piece of gum I had been chewing on all day.
“Oh isn’t that lovely. Lets see, witch misfortunate kid is in the nurse’s office this time?”
“Teacher.”
I corrected him. He inhaled sharply.
“Which teacher Ms. Thomas?”
I smiled.
“Mrs. Peack.”
He raised his eyebrows.
“Your art teacher?”
I nodded.
“What did you do?”
“It wasn’t on purpose, her butt just sort of stuck to the chair. How was I supposed to know she’d sit on my project?”
“Which project Ms. Thomas?”
“My glue mountain of course.”
“Did Mrs. Peack tell you to build a glue mountain?”
“No. I did it for extra credit.”
He sighed.
“I’m sure you’ll just skip the detention.... I’ll have to give it to you anyway. Just know that if you skip out this time...I’m suspending you!”
I giggled a little to myself.
“Wouldn’t that be a shame.”
I walked up to his desk and accepted a pink slip that was basically my key to staying after school an extra hour.
“You too Mr. Adams.”
The boy smiled in my direction as he slid past me and grabbed the small piece of paper. He crumbled it into his pocket and headed out of the office.
“See ya Mr. J.”
I mumbled as I followed behind Mr. Adams. The bell for lunch rang the second I shut the door behind me.
“You glued a teacher to her seat...Why is she in the nurse’s office?”
He was waiting for me leaning against the wall.
“Oops.” I covered my mouth. “Did I forget to mention the stapler...”
He chuckled.
“Maybe.”
I caught myself looking into his eyes. They were the prettiest shade of green almost like emerald. He leaned towards me.
“What?”
He mumbled.
“Nothing.”
I whispered before stepping away from him andheading out of the main administrative office towards the lunchroom. I inhaled sharply. What was doing? Another trip to the principal's office...
I bit my lip. Why did I have to be such a show-off? I really couldn’t afford any more marks on my record...I had to clean up my act. My mother was only going to take so much more!
Last year she almost sent me to boot camp because I had ditched two of my classes...I could only imagine what she was planning to do if I got suspended. I was such a F*** up! My grades were barely passing and as far as my mother was concerned I didn’t have any friends. And it was all because I liked to show off.... I pushed back the tears that were threatening to show themselves and ran to the girls’ bathroom.
There was only one way I could think of to get rid of the awful feeling I had building in the pit of my stomach and as much as I hated it...I didn’t have a better escape.
I went to the very last stall and threw myself into it. I sat in the farthest corner away from the door. Then I rummaged through my bag until I found it. The small tin case I kept them in. On the cover it read ‘Love’ and on the inside I kept several fresh blades wrapped in a piece of blue velvet. In haze, I grabbed one, the blade slid into my finger and cut deep. I sucked it up and grabbed a piece of toilet paper. I wrapped it around my finger and rolled up my sleeve, so that my arm was bare. Along the vein I cut several small slits down the back of my arm until I reached my wrist. Then I wiped up the blood and waited for the cuts to scab.
It hurt so bad I couldn’t focus on anything but the pain. It was a burning feeling like someone was melting metal on top of my skin. But to me, it was better than feeling like someone was shoving daggers into your heart over and over. At least I knew that this pain would end. At least I knew I would live....
I wrapped the used blade in toilet paper and stood up rolling my sleeve back into place. On the way out of the pink and white bathroom I shoved the blade into the trash can, and headed to lunch where I would sit with the other Emo kids and pretend like life was all sunshine and daisies.

Today the line to buy lunch was long and it was beyond sizzling weather. I wanted to roll my sleeves up, but I knew that I couldn’t. I bit into my lip hard and fidgeted in line. I would have skipped lunch and headed to the library if I hadn’t skipped Breakfast. I was too hungry to give in now. My arm stung and little waves of pain were shooting down to my fingers. I rolled my hand into a fist and squeezed my fingers tight against the pain.
Eventually I reached the head of the line. There I grabbed a trey and piled it with my usual lunch. A slice of pizza, chips and a Dr. Pepper. I wasn’t a health nut and I didn’t care if I gained weight. I was going to anyways...No one could ever truly be happy as a stick. I wasn’t fat though...But I wouldn’t care if I were. It wouldn’t make a difference whether I was heavyset or not. I’d still fail all my classes.... I’d still be sent to the principal's office.... I’d still be f***ed up.
My ’friends’ were all sitting under a tree on one of the only benches that had shade at Alan fars high school. The only place I’d want to eat...They were really nice people, and you could depend on them but they weren’t ones for words. Few of my buddies could hold a conversation past music and yes and no questions. Which was fine with me. I’d rather listen to my I-Pod while I ate then try to speak between bits.
I sat next to Ann. She was your average Emo. She had black hair with neon blue strikes running through it, and had it up in pink tails. She smiled at me before continuing to eat...I think salad. I could never tell when it came to school food. Her eyes were a normal hazel and her skin would have been tan if she didn’t cover it with ivory make-up. There were only two other remaining people at the table Jade, Ann’s twin sister (Who had red strikes instead of blue.) and Ellie; the only Emo I’ve ever met that never wore black. It was creepy...But she was a really good person and I liked her a lot. She had platinum blonde hair and stunning blue eyes. She could have sat anywhere...But she always chose to sit with us. We’d been friends now for at least three years.... But we didn’t bond like normal teens. Sure we called each other and sometimes went to Hot Topic together but we weren’t close. We didn’t have ’Slumber parties’ and we didn’t like the same things...We were almost opposites but we were good friends and that was all that mattered.
I was so busy staring at her that I hadn’t heard the bell ring. I didn’t even realize I was going to be late until the lunch area was completely bare. I sighed and finished the last of my Dr. Pepper and headed towards my math class.
I hated be late to Mr. Daren’s class, he was the only teacher who took points off my grade when ever I was late...It was because he knew I was always going to be late. It was unavoidable. His class was the farthest from the lunch area and if you didn’t start heading towards it a minute before passing period started...You wouldn’t make it there in time.

“It’s funny how I keep running into you.”
I turned to see Mr. Adams walking beside me.
“I wouldn’t say running into you, this is only the second time I’ve seen you.”
He shrugged.
“Yes but there will be a third time...”
“There will be?”
I raised my eyebrow at me in questioning.
“You’re aren’t going to ditch detention.”
It wasn’t a question, it was a statement but I still nodded my head like a complete idiot.
He grinned.
“I’m not ditching either then.”
He stopped and headed into Mrs. William’s science class. I bit my lip...And wished I would of said something else to him. I was really beginning to like him....Did he like me too?
I smiled to myself and ran the rest of the way to my math class.

The remainder of the day could have gone smoother...I seemed to be on everyone’s bad side. I managed to fail my first pop quiz in history horribly and accidentally put too much of something (I dunno what) into one of our lab’s test beakers and ended up causing a few beakers to pop in chemistry. (Again I say I dunno.... HOW my beaker became homicidal....)
And now I was going to have to bear with an extra hour of school. I was tired and felt like crap...I could snap at anyone at any second. I hated it when school dragged it’s self out longer than it had to be. Wasn’t eight hours enough?
I groaned and headed into the study hall room. At least the teacher who held detention was leant; she didn’t mind note passing and was okay if you just sat there. It was too bad I didn’t remember her name. The room was almost completely empty...There were only three other people besides myself. Just to my luck I didn’t recall any of them.
I sighed and slung myself into a free desk in the farthest corner.
“You didn’t have too bad of a day, did you?”
I knew who it was without even looking up. I smiled.
“Nah. It was all sunshine and lollipops here. What about you?”
I looked up at Mr. Adams, he grinned.
“A lot better now that you’re here.”
I pursed my lips and pulled a book out of my bag so that I could hide the burning red color I knew my cheeks were.
He sat down in the desk closest to mine and pulled out a pen and a notebook. I sold a look in his direction. He was writing something in a language I couldn’t decide whether it was Latin or Spanish...Then again I didn’t know either of those languages.
I tired to read my book but I had trouble keeping my eyes off of him. It was like he wanted me to look...Like he was a magnet and I was just a helpless piece of metal being pulled towards him. A few times he would look up and I would have to quickly look away, so he wouldn’t know I was staring. It was too bad that deep down I knew he was fully aware of me staring at him.... And by the constant smile he wore I knew he didn’t mind.

Detention finally ended and I slid out of my chair and stretched. I was dead tired and ready to go home. I looked up at the clock; it was just a little before five. I sighed in relief. My mother wouldn’t be home until six and I could beat her there. I had a feeling there was a nasty little message from my favorite principal.
“Hey. Ms. Thomas do you mind if I walk you home?”
I grinned. It was Mr. Adams...

“It’s Marcie and I’m okay with that.”
He smiled.
“Awesome, Marcie. I’m Jadden.”
I grinned and followed him out of the classroom. I was happy I wouldn’t have to walk home alone...I hated the idea of being by myself.

We didn’t talk much on the way to my house. We just sort of stole looks at each other. Every few seconds I caught myself looking up at him.
It wasn’t as hot as it had been earlier in the day and I was glade I had worn my regular skin jeans instead of a skirt.
I never dressed up for school. I was wearing something I could have slept in. Skinny jeans and an Invader Zim long sleeve shirt. The only thing I wouldn’t sleep in was my combat boots. I’d slip those of first.
When we reached my house I wasn’t sure how to say goodbye. Boyfriends and Girlfriends usually kissed each other goodnight and friends usually hugged each goodbye. What did acquaintances do? Shake hands? I let out a giant sigh and leaned back on the heels of my boots.
“Um. Thanks for walking with me.”
He smiled.
“The pleasure was mine.”
He pursed his lips.
“So I’ll see you tomorrow?”
I nodded.
“Yeah. Tomorrow...”
He smiled and walked away. I waved like a moron at his back. Then I headed inside. I grumbled and hit myself on the forehead. I could be such an idiot sometimes!
I was too busy calling myself names that when my mother started to scream at me...I ignored her completely and headed straight to my room.
“Young lady.... How do you end up in the principal's office three times in two days?”
Well someone got home early...
I slammed the door to my room in her face.
“By gluing a teacher’s a** to a chair. You should try it sometime!”

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